I was enjoying a very productive coffee date with a friend when she felt compelled to brief me on how crappy her project looked before revealing it to me. Ok, here we go! *inserts eye roll* She opened up her laptop and my mouth dropped! I could not believe how much of an AMAZING she did. This really got me to thinking, how often to we truly “Sleep on ourselves?” How often do we doubt or downplay things we are capable of? Do we partake in self doubt without even realizing it at times?
…I didn’t realized how much self doubt was effecting me!
One day, I asked myself why haven’t I done this or that after hearing people preach to me over and over again about how well I actually did them? Why didn’t I have faith in myself or believe in my talents as much as others do? Have I been “sleeping on myself” this entire time? Something snapped inside me one day and I realized I needed to let go of my self doubt. I know I can’t be totally alone here, so I wanted to address the issue, what I’ve experienced and how I am working my way through having more faith in myself and practicing more self love, in hopes that it inspires anyone else struggling with similar issues.
I have teamed up with Janine of Glass Half Fab to answer some pretty personal questions in regard to self doubt, self love and the journey between the two. Check it out below!
“You are very powerful, provided you know how powerful you are.”
What made you realize you were “sleeping on yourself”?After I started making wigs, I really developed a passion for it. I though no one would be interested in buying them from me. It wasn’t until I started getting more and more compliments on my hair and mentioned selling them to a stranger and she said “If you sold wig I know myself and a few friends would love to buy them!” It really made me feel like I needed to have more confidence in myself and the products I love making for others.
What is the biggest thing that caused you to “sleep on yourself” in the past?
First and foremost, being “different” and “awkward” growing up had a lot do with me sleeping on myself. I was never the “cool/cute kid” or the girl everyone wanted to be bff with. I felt like I was alway looked over and simply wasn’t good enough at anything. Fast forward to now, I used to see so many other people around me doing some of the same things I am doing/wanted to do and not thinking I was as good as them. I thought, “How could I be successful at this when there are already so many others in the market doing the same things?”
How has “sleeping on yourself” had an effect on your life?
Sleeping on myself has done nothing but wasted my time. I believe that feeding into the negative thoughts, fear and self doubt about myself and my capabilities has costed me so much time and missed opportunities. Sometimes it causes me to look back and think about how far I’d be now if I didn’t give up due to my fears and not having enough faith in myself.
“Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are.”
Do you have any insecurities that people actually compliment you on or see as
Actually, yes. My gap has always been a big insecurity of my. I remember telling my husband and best friend that I wanted to get braces and they threw fits and called my gap my “signature.” They say it makes me who I am. I am undecided about getting braces now, but I do feel that maybe my gap may be a unique feature.
Why does self love matter?
Self love is SO important. If you don’t believe in yourself and lift yourself up, who else will? I mean, sure there are people that may have faith in you when you don’t have it in yourself, but it truly takes loving yourself and finding that drive to pursue your passions. You have to care for yourself and love yourself in order to make it when things don’t seem to be working out as they should. You need that self love to keep going when things get tough.
Why do you think people tend to doubt themselves most?
People comparing themselves to others. Let’s be real, social media paints a pretty picture that may have you thinking you’re not doing something right. We don’t see the hard work, struggle and tears that aren’t shown in the highlight reels Instagram and Facebook portray. I also think past failures or how hard a task may be also make it harder for them to believe they CAN do something.
“Most of the shadows of this life are caused by standing in one’s own sunshine.”
What do you do to uplift yourself when you’re feeling down or not good enough?
When I need to lift my spirits, I pray and look at how far I have come and all of the things I HAVE accomplished, especially when I thought they were hard or something I never saw myself doing. I also like to read motivational books, quotes and reading stories of others who created successful paths. It gives me motivation and inspires me to hear other people’s success stories and inspires me.
What would you tell other people that are sleeping on themselves and their talents?
You only get one life so STOP WASTING YOUR TIME! You don’t want to be one of those people that go through life wondering “what if?” As quoted by Maya Angelou, “Nothing beats a trial but a failure.” I’m sure people would interpret this in many different ways but I take it as this, failing to try is worse than an actual failure. At least if you do fail, you can learn something from it that will make your next attempt even greater!
What is your favorite quote/scripture you’d share with other people that are lacking confidence and not believing in themselves?
Joshua 1:9 is one of my top favorite versus. “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”
What other advice would you give to someone who struggles with self love?
I would tell them not to be so hard on themselves. Often times we are our own worst critic. When you feel like you are low on confidence or needing a little pick me up, think about the great things you’ve already accomplished. Try indulging in a few activity that’s therapeutic or helps boost your confidence. Maybe a dance class, a workout session or a facial/spa day to clear your head. Also try to meditate more, declutter your mind by keeping a journal to get out all of those thoughts. Remember things won’t always happen over night. Lastly, set small goals for yourself and do everything in your power to achieve them. It’s checking off those smaller goals that help us achieve our larger ones!
Janine and I had so much fun and learned so much about each other while connecting on this project. Its important to know that you aren’t alone when it comes to the struggles you’re facing in life. It is also important to know that it all starts inside, with you! Self love is one of the greatest gifts you can give to yourself and puts you in the best position to help love and uplift others. Today, I encourage you to write down some of your insecurities and fears and work towards concurring them! Stop sleeping on yourself and what gifts God has blessed you with.
For the month of
Love February I hope we can all shower love on ourselves. In order to spread the awareness of dealing with self doubts and loving ourselves, I’ve tagged two fellow friends to share their stories and answers to these questions as well. If you would like to participate please post your answers as well and use the hashtag #selfloveclub so we can all see them and get some inspiration! Stop my Autum and Nailahs sites to view their responses.
Cicely- Girl Goals
Autum- Autum Love
Melina ane Alana- Twins Takeover
Janine- Glass Half Fab
Nailah- Nailah Carter